What is this stunt queen game, Groupon? I thought it was at least like, for a charity.
$100 for Bedtime Tuck-In from Ben Kobold ($100 Value)
Upon entering your bedroom, Ben Kobold immediately begins to analyze your linen seams and pillow placement, planning a tucking strategy as you enjoy a glass of water he has poured for you. After you hydrate, Ben’s sinewy, well-groomed fingers delicately raise each sheet and blanket over your body until you’re comfortably bundled. Careful not to disturb any children who may be in the adjacent room, Ben leans in and uses his summer-breeze-like voice to gently sing you one of the five lullabies he has authored. Once your body temperature has fallen and your breathing has slowed, Ben and his legally required entourage of two or three companions will slip soundlessly out the front door and into the night. He’ll return to his sleeping barracks, where he’ll tuck himself in and whisper his lullabies to himself.
Whatever, I guess it worked. I BOUGHT THREE.